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Forgiveness of self and others is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself…

October 23, 2017
Forgiveness is not about accepting what happened or accepting the pain you are holding on to. Instead forgiveness is about freedom. Without the ability to move forward, let go and progress you will be stuck in the memories and the potential of that painful experience. We often hold onto grudges and pain from other people as if it was an offense to us, and sometimes it is. We feel that if we let that slide by forgiving then in some way they will and you remain the victim.
Instead the opposite is actually true. As long as you hold yourself a prisoner of your past you will be the one who remains the victim anyway. Feeling disempowered, hurt, ashamed and paralyzed to progress are some of the most toxic emotions and behaviors that any of us can experience. When we feel this stuck we experience powerlessness and despair which can lead to depression and withdrawal.
Ask yourself, ‘in what way have you changed because you are holding onto an offense?’ Many of us change in our fundamental behavior – we become detached, we don’t trust others and we can even believe we do not deserve to love or be loved. These emotional behaviors are the real damage that holding onto the past creates.
Forgiveness is about liberating yourself, choosing for yourself a better place to live and exist than survival or mediocre. How badly do you want your life to change? How badly do you want to love, be loved and be happy? Forgiveness may be the thing that is keeping you from all of this joy.
Choose forgiveness for you, not for them. Make a decision to love yourself enough to no longer be stuck and choose the path of personal responsibility. If it’s still in your life it still has something to teach you – what could you learn from forgiving and letting go?
You deserve happiness, fulfillment and connection beyond measurement and it’s only from breaking down the resentment and fear from the past that you can create this for yourself.
I know this sounds hard but you can do this! We all can and it truly is the gift we can give ourselves…
Nicole

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