Many of us have default behavioral tendencies that we are not even aware that we have. For example, when the guy doesn’t call back we sulk, we walk to the fridge or we start to feel ‘poor me’ and listen to soppy Celine Dion music! Is this really the way we want to deal with our problems or is it just the default behavioral conditioning that occurs because we don’t out smart our feelings and consciously choose our reactions?
In every moment we can and do choose how we feel and this influences how we behave in the world. Part of becoming the powerful and empowered woman we all are is being able to self regulate our behaviors and become intentional about how we feel and how we show up to others.
Make a list of the behaviors that you find yourself in when life throws you a curveball – do you find yourself becoming needy, clingy, anxious, emotionally eating, emotionally shutting down, heading to bed for a few days or projecting emotions at others?
Now that you have looked at the default behaviors that happen in this situation now make a choice, a conscience choice with intention about how you would LIKE to behave instead. Yes, you can get ahead of the emotion and the problems and create solutions for yourself that are much healthier and sustainable.
Make a declaration – next time that I am faced with a problem I will –
React proportionately to the problem – no more drama or exaggeration
I will ask for my needs to be met by people who love me and who I feel safe with
I will love myself enough to meet my own needs – healthy, nourishing foods, water and adequate sleep and exercise
I will fill my mind with great stuff! I will listen to inspirational music or watch a TED talk or two to fill my mind with healthy proactive content
I will lean on my friends and family to console me while at the same time accepting responsibility and creating my own solutions.
Now that sounds like a better plan doesn’t it! Get to it – step up, claim the space and be the best version of yourself – you’ve got this!
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